


There Once Was A Boy

by NotDanHowell



Series: Dan and Phil Poetry [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Crying, Eating Disorders, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Poetry, Sad with Ehhhh Ending, Self Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-10
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-30 11:53:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10876242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotDanHowell/pseuds/NotDanHowell
Summary: There once was a boy named Dan HowellWho hurt from the inside outHe would be attacked with all the bad things in the worldAnd accept them with a cry and a poutThere once was a boy named Phil LesterWho's eyes were as blue as the seaHe wanted to save the boy who was hurtBut the boy pushed him out and repeatThere once was a boy name Pj LiguoriWho stayed by the brown eyed boy's sideBut what was once friendship soon turned to loveAnd most chose to ruin his prideThere once was a boy named Chris KendallAnd he wanted Dan to take a restBut if all else failed, he would take charge himselfAnd help Dan to be his very bestThere once was a girl named Louise PentlandShe tapped her nails with much worryShe got in her car, went past the speedAnd got to the hospital in a hurryThere once was a boy named Tyler OakleyWho paced the waiting room with lack of powerHe would not not leave at any time of dayEven when his worries began to towerThere was once a boy named Dan HowellWho wanted everything to endWith a snap of a bottle cap and not a second to wasteHis reality began to bend





	1. There Once Was A Boy Who Kissed My Arms

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Alohomora](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alohomora/gifts), [queerofcups](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queerofcups/gifts).



> Woop! I think this is gonna be one of my favorites because I am good at writing really abstract poetry. if anyone has suggestions or wants to help write the story, please leave a comment and if you like it...leave a kudos! (gifted to Alohomora and queerofcups because reading their fics gave me the idea for this). And also, this is written in free verse and whatever the name is at the top ( Daniel Howell:, Philip Lester:, etc.) is the person speaking/ writing or whatever they are doing

Daniel Howell: 

All I really wanted  
Was for him to be real  
For him to take care of me  
But I couldn't let him  
Because if I let him come close  
He would learn about me

He would see that  
That I'm not as pretty as I look  
I'm not as confident as I sound  
And that all I do  
Is lie  
Because it keeps me sane  
It kept me distant  
Until he showed up

His blue eyes were almost neon  
Flecks of green painting them over  
Along with a little yellow  
And some grey  
Hair as black as a raven's feather  
Pale skin the color of pure snow  
He was gorgeous

And he tried to break  
My little space I built around myself  
He said hi to me  
And I blushed and raised a hand  
To signal a small hello  
He tried to make conversation  
But I kept my head down  
I ignored his little laughs  
And the way he smiled  
Even if I didn't answer back

He liked being around me  
I learned this yesterday when  
He told me in secret  
Like he would never admit it  
But he said he wants to make me talk  
He wants to be the one to break  
My streak of silence

He kissed my hand and told me  
I was safe and I nodded  
Even if I did not believe him  
And it was worth it  
Because he smiled so bright  
I am sure that a million people  
Could light their houses from just his smile

He walked off and I sat there in a little bliss  
I never had someone as persistent  
As Phil Lester  
He made sure he came back to me everyday  
He was not like Louise  
Or like Chris and Pj  
It was like I was his personal project

Most people would not like that  
I loved it because  
It meant I was loved for the first time  
It meant that he wanted me to speak  
My voice was important to me  
I taught him a little sign language  
Because he wanted to converse with me  
He told me I was funny  
And I smiled for the first time  
In a long time

He missed a week of school  
I spent it with Louise, cuddled up  
Every chance we saw each other  
Even with Phil here  
This was our schedule because  
She was my best friend and loved her  
We never ever split up

She talked to Phil too  
He would tell her if I made any progress  
I hadn't done much yet  
I said his name once and cried  
He cried too and so did Louise  
Chris and Pj took me out  
I said their names too

All four of us worked together to help me talk  
Phil was Mondays and Wednesdays  
And Fridays And Sundays  
Because he was most determined  
To crack me  
Pj had Tuesdays  
Chris had Saturdays  
And Louise shared Mondays with Phil  
And had Thursday too  
We were one big, weird family  
And there was no place I felt better  
Than their presence  
Louise's arms were warm  
Pj's eyes were calming  
Chris's smile melted my heart  
And Phil's kisses over my body  
Ruined me


	2. There Once Was A Boy With Work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> His hands grasped mine  
> While I grasped for breath  
> How can I feel things like this  
> When I usually do not feel at all?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im gonna try to update this every once in a while but its hard to think of what to do with a poem style story. More time goes into this story than all my other stories combined. Also, the start is a little letter Phil wrote but then it switches back to Dan in the middle, it'll be easy to tell
> 
> V. Important note: Phil will always talk through letters he never send, Dan through poems he will never share, Pj with stories he will never speak the name of, Chris with drawings that will never see the light (which I will use imagery to explain), Louise uses poems too, but she publishes them into the school newspaper under a false name, not wanting to feel the heat and any other characters will use writing too.

From:Philip Lester  
To:Daniel Howell

This letter will never leave my possession. I do not want to ruin us, ruin you, especially. You told me many things recently, you've begun to talk to us. It's scratchy and imperfect but every moment you talk is like a million lights lit up and it always makes me giggle because you blush. You think you're a burden but truly, you're the best friend I have ever had. I used to feel so empty, like a shell of myself. I used to be teased about everything, from who I hung out with to who I had a crush on. I guess being the only not straight kid in a school full of catholic school children never really had a positive outcome. But it did, because I got picked on so much I had to move, and moving meant that I met new people and one of those new people was you. Im not sure if you know how much you've influenced me in just the few weeks Ive been here. Umm, I used to harm myself, like a lot. I didnt want to but with all the teasing, it was the only thing I had the power over. I moved and met you and I stopped. You showed me there is beauty in myself, like there is beauty in you Howell. You are one of the most wonderful humans out there and you can't argue the fact because you know it. You're a cocky little shit and I know you know you're beautiful. You're amazing and you don't know how often i want to just kiss your dimples or your cheek or your hair and just see you gleam. It's almost time for school which means Ill see you in a little bit but I love you, Daniel. I love you.

Daniel Howell 

He showed up with a smile  
Bright and big It spread across his face  
It caused me to smile too   
He's gorgeous, absolutely   
But I...I'm dating someone

It was sudden   
Tyler came up, he's my friend   
He kissed me on the mouth   
He said he's waited forever   
I accepted We were going out   
And I hadnt told Phil yet  
Would he leave?  
No, he loves me as a friend   
He wouldn't mind   
Would he? 

He did   
He minded a lot  
He started crying   
He slapped me across the face   
He told me   
Never speak to me again   
I broke down in tears   
He went off and snogged a girl   
I didnt understand   
Did he want me alone forever?   
Can I never kiss anyone?   
My anxiety is kicking in   
Im going to throw up I have to get to class 

I sat in class for three minutes before bawling   
The teacher told me   
You can leave if you'd like   
But Phil is on free period   
And I don't want to face him   
But I nodded anyways and walked out   
And almost immediately  
I was pushed against the wall  
A group of boys, with Phil in back   
He looked mad, but also like he regretted this   
They beat me up bad 

Louise called me five times   
She knows what happened and is worried   
I texted and assured her Im okay   
She still called  
I told her about Tyler   
She giggled and said good luck   
I smiled, she always makes me smile  
I think I can manage without Phil  
I have Tyler 

The date went well   
We ended up snogging back at his house   
And that led to other things   
To say a lot happened is an understatement   
We made it as far as a quick handjob I didn't want him to take my official V- card

I went back to school the next day   
Rumours got back to me quick   
Tyler and Dan fucked!   
That's what they all said   
Was Tyler behind this?   
No....I saw the icy eyes full of revenge   
And I knew then Phil was out to get me 

How could he?!  
Louise exclaimed   
It's alright mate   
Pj assured me   
Did he hurt you?   
Chris asked   
They all care so much   
Me and Tyler kissed in front of everyone 

I wanted my true first time with Phil   
Now me and Tyler were fucking in the locker room   
It was amazing   
Revenge sex is the best, isnt it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sooo......how is it? idk...i felt it was pretty trashy but like...ehh


End file.
